Child_of_Light1985's Xanga

Tuesday, July 10, 2007

Tue, 10 Jul 2007 01:54:48 GMT

I've received several questions since my last post, so I should answer them. Thank you, my three adoring readers, for all your questions.

Wrote Kayla McCoolerist:

1. How much wood would a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could Chuck Norris?
Answer: Well, Kayla. This is a tricky question at best. Since Chuck Norris is a demi-god among demi-gods, we have to first figure out how far above a normal person Chuck Norris is. In my own opinion, based merely on speculation and absolutely no scientific or mathematical evidence, I will say that Chuck Norris completes the cycle of input-process-output about 57,932 times faster than the average person; therefore, the Chuck Norris-Chuck also completes the cycle of IPO at 57,932x. So if we use that figure in proportion to the amount of the average woodchuck vs. the woodchuck in Chuck Norris mode, we discover:

Amount the Average Woodchuck Chucks = 700 lbs IPO Rate of Average Woodchuck = 1
Amount the Chuck Norris-Chuck Chucks = X IPO of Chuck Norris = 57932

So that

1 / 700 is proportionate to 57932 / X

thus

X = 40,552,400 lbs. - The amount a woodchuck would chuck if a woodchuck could Chuck Norris.

2. How do you measure a year?
Answer: Well, you didn't give me a unit of measurement, so I'll just choose a few. You also didn't give me a location, so I'll just pick a demographic here and there....

In daylights = approximately 4500 hours of daylight per earth year on Mercury
In sunsets = 1, on March 21 at the South Pole
In midnights = 365 per year in Mexico
In cups of coffee = 511,000,000,000 consumed worldwide
In inches = 94,608,000 for a sloth running at a top speed of 15 feet per minute, non-stop
In miles = 613,200 for a cheetah running at a top speed of 70 mph, non-stop
In laughter = 6,205 in adults (17 times per day, according to :: Martin, R. A., & Kuiper, N. A. (1999). Daily occurrence of laughter: Relationships with age, gender, and Type A personality. Humor: International Journal of Humor Research, 12(4), 355-384.)
In strife = 7,328 reported landmine casualties in 2005
In diapers = 16,000,000,000 discarded by the US
In report cards = 20,396 issued in Nixa, Missouri schools, 2006-2007 year
In spoked wheels = 24,000 innocent in recall of 12,000 Huffy Cranbrook bicycles in 2004 (Faulty Handlebars)
In speeding tickets = 482,857 issued in Victoria, Australia in 1993
In contracts = 5,000 approximate number of employees hired by Walmart in Canada, 2006
In dollars = 1,240 Gross National Income Per Capita in Azerbaijan, measured in US Dollars
In funerals = 22.12 deaths / 1,000 live births :: projected 2007 Infant Mortality Rate in China
In births = 8.1 births / 1,000 population :: projected 2007 Birth Rate in Japan

3. What sound does a giraffe make?
Answer: probably the same sound as I made after doing all of those statistics: ""mmmgglaaauuuurrrbbbbhh"

1. Do you prefer 2% or whole?
Answer: Whole, but I could be drinking 2% if I wanted.

2. What is your absolute favorite movie of all time? And if you can't pick just one, top three-ish?
Answer: Matrix. Favorite movie...ever.

3. What do you miss most about home?
Answer: Well, I'm home now. But I did miss my purple carpet, yes I did...

Wrote Evelyn Walk-or-Run:

1. Who are you and where do you come from and why?
Answer: I am the Lishy. I come from the land of Lishyville. Because I can.

2. What is the dominant colour in your fairyland?
Answer: Purple. Purple clouds, purple lions, purple chocolate, purple trees. Purple.

3. Why gum?

Answer: Why not? Gum isn't biodegradable or digestible. It loses flavor quickly, and never tastes the same if someone else already chewed it. If you get it in your hair, you have to cut your hair or slather it with weird condiments. It's not as adhesive as duct tape. And you can never blow bubbles as big as they do on TV.

Wrote Stephanananananie Mapes:

1. Do you remember me??
Answer: Yes, of course I remember you How could I forget a face that adorable? *pinches your cheeks*

There, I've answered all of your questions. I hope you're satisfied :)
I officially have no life.

Saturday, June 23, 2007

Sat, 23 Jun 2007 23:50:21 GMT

Hmm...

I'm currently in Louisiana, staying with my friend Rachel. It's okay down here. It's hot, but she has a pool. So, I've been working on my tan, wuhoo! "But you already have a tan, Lisha!" you might say. Au contraire; I don't consider myself to have a tan until I've turned about four shades darker. Dude, they have Popeye's down here. It's amazing. Better than KFC...Sorry Colonel!

Current state of mind...I'll let you know when I find my mind.

As of right now, I am hoping to go teach English somewhere in maybe Asia after I graduate. I think that sounds like tons of fun; plus, I'd get to do travel and do other things, wheeeeeee!

I currently like the sunshine, Popeye's, and sushi. I currently dislike being lonely, being lazy, and being 1200 miles away from home. I'm currently obsessed with Wang LeeHom. He is the most amazing Chinese singer in the history of the world. His voice is GOOOOORRRGGEEEEOUUUUSSSSS!!!! And he's multi-talented...He plays piano and guitar and various other instruments, aaaand he can speak Mandarin, Cantonese, Japanese, English, and French. He's released 11 albums, and he writes all of his own music. Plus, he's uber-hot:

And I currently hate being single.

Kayla McCoy rocks the most because she's the only one who cared enough to leave me a post-it note. The rest of you ... be ashamed of yourselves.

Jimmy Hoffa was abducted by aliens.

When an unstoppable force meets an unmovable object, a rainbow occurs, complete with skittles raining down.

If a woodchuck could chuck wood, the amount of wood a woodchuck would chuck on a given day varies greatly with the individual woodchuck. According to a Wall Street Journal article, New York State wildlife expert Richard Thomas found that a woodchuck could chuck around 35 cubic feet of dirt in the course of digging a burrow. Thomas reasoned that if a woodchuck could chuck wood, he would chuck an amount equal to 700 pounds.

Waldo is in my basement, chained to the wall with a construction paper link chain. He currently consumes 1 bite of moldy bread and 2 CCs of water each day.

Carmen San Diego was sentenced to 123 consecutive Tuesdays of community service in Antarctica, according to an anonymous tip from a writer at the National Inquirer. Her crime? Stealing a frozen Woolly Mammoth from under 17 feet of arctic ice and eating it for breakfast.

Page 596 of Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince:
    Snape raised his wand and pointed it directly at Dumbledore.
    "Avada Kedavra!"
    A jet of green light shot from the end of Snape's wand and hit Dumbledore squarely in the chest. Harry's scream of horror never left him; silent and unmoving, he was forced to watch as Dumbledore was blasted into the air. For a split second, he seemed to hang suspended benearth the shining skull, and then he fell slowly backward, like a great rag doll, over the battlements and out of sight.

There you have it, as promised.

Currently accepting suggestions for my next post. What would you like to learn about? I'll update again when I have at least 3 personal questions and at least 3 general questions.

The fate of my Xanga rests solely on you, my reader(s).

Monday, June 18, 2007

Mon, 18 Jun 2007 15:00:23 GMT

Umm... I think these are the right colors...*edit* No they weren't... *fixes them*
Haha. Oh Xanga, how long since I've used thee...

If anyone really wants an update on here, leave a comment and I'll be sure to tell you the following:

My current location.
My current state of mind.
My current plans for the future.
My current likes, dislikes, obsessions, and hates.
Who I think rocks the most.
What happened to Jimmy Hoffa.
What happens when an unstoppable force meets an unmovable object.
How much wood a woodchuck would chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood.
Where Waldo is.
Where in the world Carmen San Diego is.
What happens on page 596 of Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince.

Friday, September 15, 2006

Fri, 15 Sep 2006 20:13:33 GMT

Don’t Hold Me In Your Arms Tonight

You say you’re keeping your options open
I guess you think I’m not good enough for sure
But in your arms I hear a different story
You hold me closer than anyone’s done before

Then you say you’re not ready to commit
Not ready for a relationship

But I’m not a one-night kind of girl
I won’t settle for some little fling
If you want any part of me
You’re gonna have to give me everything

Don’t hold me in your arms tonight
If you’re not sure
That I’m what you’re looking for
Don’t hold me in your arms tonight
If you don’t know
That you’ll never let me go
Don’t hold me in your arms tonight
If you can’t see
There’s no better girl than me
Don’t hold me in your arms tonight
If you just think
I’m a temporary thing
Don’t hold me in your arms tonight

It’s a tragic cycle you’re going through
Find something good but keep looking anyway
Always thinking there’s someone better
You can’t see the gem in front of you
I’m the best baby can’t you see?
You’ll never find another girl like me!

Baby won’t you open up your eyes
You can’t keep searching for the rest of your life
You’re gonna let all the good ones go
If you keep thinking that there’s something more
I know you’re scared of missing out
But trust your heart baby, have no doubt
You tell me that you just wanna be friends
But baby I can be with you right to the end

--Lishy

The Great Adventure

Sun, 21 May 2006 09:48:29 GMT

It's 6:15 AM as I sit here and start to write this. My mood is contemplative, as I am scheduled to leave to embark on a great adventure in approximately 8 hours. Despite all the effort I've put into this I still feel ill-prepared in vast degree. I'm scared, nervous, excited--an emotional pinwheel of sorts. And as I recline on the couch the words of Steven Curtis Chapman's song "The Great Adventure" drift through my mind:

Come on, get ready for the ride of your life
Gonna leave long faced religion
In a cloud of dust behind
And discover all the new horizons
Just waiting to be explored
This is what we were created for, yeah

Saddle up your horses
We've got a trail to blaze
Through the wild blue yonder of God's amazing grace
Let's follow our leader into the glorious unknown
This is the life like no other, whoa whoa
This is the great adventure

And for sure, the next 7 weeks of my life will be nothing less than a great adventure. I'm leaving behind everything I've known for the past 21 years - all the comforts, luxuries, and royalties - and plunging headlong into a world vastly different from that to which I've been accustomed my entire life. I'll find myself submerged in an all new culture with a new brand of people and a lifestyle as completely foreign as the soil upon which I'll be trodding. And yet, there seems to be an atmosphere of peace enclosing the whole situation. It's all in God's hands, I know. This summer isn't mine - it's God's.

I ask only that you all would remember our team in your prayers as we are faced with challenges everyday. Pray that we unify as a group, and that we acheive the purpose God has set for us. Pray for the hearts and lives of those whom we come into contact with over the course of our stay, that their hearts be softened and their lives be changed. Pray that we grow in our faith in our Lord Jesus Christ as we give each day completely over to Him to be used by Him in whatever way He wants. Pray for our safety and security. Pray for our parents, as they won't sleep as easily at night until we return. Pray that God's work and will be done in our lives these 7 weeks.

I love you guys, and I'll miss each and every one of you. You'll be on my mind all the time.

Top 10 Things I Will Miss These Next 7 Weeks

1. My family and friends
2. Atlanta Braves baseball - Go Jeff Francoeur!!
3. American Idol finale - Go Taylor!!
4. My church family
5. The Internet
6. Law & Order: SVU
7. WVN District Events (BLAST, Senior High Camp, Etc.)
8. Robert's graduation and 18th birthday
9. Evelyn's wedding
10. American food

Top 10 Things I Will Gain/Learn These Next 7 Weeks

1. A closer relationship with my Lord and Savior
2. A broader understanding of the world around me
3. A new language
4. A special group of friends
5. The art of sacrifice
6. How to function in a brand new culture
7. Experience in air travel
8. Appreciation of the simple things in life we take for granted
9. Experience in sharing my life's values
10. Courage to walk in the face of the unknown, holding the hand of my Savior

Thursday, April 13, 2006

Thu, 13 Apr 2006 10:59:25 GMT

So, I never update my Xanga anymore. Not REALLY at least. I guess I've run out of things to say or something...haha we all know that's not true. I guess I've just decided that if you guys really care about what's going on in my life that you'll ask me yourself.

Anyway, for those of you who don't know (because you haven't bothered to ask), I'm going on a summer missions project this year thru CRU. I'm in the process of support raising, and if you'd like to help that would be wonderful. The total cost is 3800 dollars. I'm trusting in God during this time of need...He will provide. If you wanna know more about the trip, IM me, leave me a message here, e-mail me, write me a letter, call me, stop by my apartment, attempt to make a telepathic connection with me (though I don't suggest that--you might get lost in the intricate labyrinth of my psychotic mind), send up smoke signals aimed in my direction, write a message in a bottle and send it up the Mon River towards my apartment, have the stork deliver a bundle to my doorstep, or attempt any other form of communication you can muster up and ask me all about it.

So school is almost up, and summer is almost here. I realized a few days ago that this is the first year I actually feel sorry that school is ending for awhile. In previous years I didnt really have any friends at school that I was attached to, but this year since I got involved in CRU I met a bunch of people and made some great new friends. I'm going to miss them this summer. I don't know how to deal with it, haha. I'm such a sap.

Speaking of sappy stuff...I'm still single. Forever. At least if God wants me to be. I mean, the more I look at it, the more I realize that's probably what is going to happen to me. But if that's what God wants, then so be it. But if not, I wish Mr. Right would hurry up and come along. I'm getting anxious and I'm probably going to make a mistake soon, though I certainly hope not. Patience is a fruit of the Spirit, Lishy. You do not need a man to complete you. Your identity is in Christ Jesus.

I went to Golden Corral with Robert and his Mommy last night. It was fun and yummy. Robert ate more than me and I think that's blatantly wrong.

I'm sad that Bucky got kicked off American Idol. This is not because I like him or anything. I barely even watch the show myself. I just liked how it bothered Robert so much that he was still on there. Lol.

So I am going to Spencer for Easter to spend the holiday with my parafamilia...sounds like paraphernelia, but it's really not. I don't think parafamilia is a real word anyway. But if you ask me, it means "Side Family" (sorta like how paramour is one's side love). So yeah, the Keeners have to put up with me for awhile.

Oh yeah. Kayla McCoy is cooler than you. You best rec'nize.

Wednesday, March 29, 2006

Wed, 29 Mar 2006 07:28:24 GMT

Today I ate a TRIPLE WHOPPER from Burger King...

yeah, that's it.

Wednesday, February 08, 2006

Wed, 08 Feb 2006 21:14:48 GMT

It's my birthday....

LOVE ME!!!

Thursday, January 19, 2006

Thu, 19 Jan 2006 21:33:21 GMT

It's not easy to fall in love
So I pray to God above
Lord, I need a helping hand...

Hey, Mr Dj play this song
I've felt lonely for so long
This is me crying out for love...

All the time it's on my mind 
Someone to hold me tight is hard to find...

I'm so lonely...

Thursday, January 05, 2006

Thu, 05 Jan 2006 21:12:57 GMT

    So, Christmas Conference has come and gone. And let me tell you...it was SWEET! Words really can't express all the thoughts and emotions I have inside. The presence of God was just so powerful...how could anyone walk away unchanged? I know I was changed. I know my pathway a little more clearly now. I know myself a little better now, and I can see more clearly who it is that God wants me to become.

If you want me to summarize what it is I learned, I guess I would have to say this:
    Everybody has a story, and all these stories are part of a grander Story...the Story of God's eternal kingdom and glory. We were all chosen by God to play a part in His story - and each of us is as important to the story as everyone else. And the central theme of this story is love.
    If we all took the time to listen to each others' stories, we would learn to better love each other. I know this personally. I know that I can't listen to someone tell me where they've been and what they've gone through without falling more and more in love with that person. And I know that we can't reach others for Christ if we don't honestly love and care about them.
    So what if you have memorized the Four Laws booklet? So what if you witness to every person you come across? Jesus reached out to the lost by showing them that He loved them. If we're following His example, then we should be reaching out with love too. The 13th Chapter of Corinthians is a well known passage to many of us Christians...but are we really listening to what it says?

" ¹If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. ²If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. ³If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing."

Winning souls for Christ is not a competition. Winning souls for Christ should be a natural reaction - it should be us taking the love that Christ has shown us and showing it to the world. 1 Peter 1:22 says: "Now that you have purified yourselves by obeying the truth so that you have sincere love for your brothers, love one another deeply, from the heart."
How many more times in the New Testament is it said for us to love? It's so important that we love each other that it is continually repeated over and over and over:

**John 13:35 - "By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another."
**1 John 3:11 - "This is the message you heard from the beginning: We should love one another."
**John 15:17 - " This is my command: Love each other."
**1 Peter 4:8 - " Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins."

Do you guys get it yet? Just in case you don't, here is my last attempt to show you how important this concept is: Matthew 22:36-40 -

³⁶"Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?" ³⁷Jesus replied: " 'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.'³⁸This is the first and greatest commandment. ³⁹And the second is like it: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' ⁴⁰All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments."

Jesus Himself said it...LOVE. I honestly believe that if we would all just love each other, everything else would follow. If we love God we'll obey his commands (John 14:15), and in obeying His commands we'll fulfill the Great Commission (Matthew 28:19-20) in bringing souls to Christ.
I know there are times when it seems like loving someone is the hardest thing to do. But brothers and sisters, this is what we are called to do. Love, for the day is near.

My King, Do You Know Him?
By Dr S.M. Lockridge

The Bible says my King is a seven way King. He's the King of the Jews - that's a racial King; He's the King of Israel - that's a national King; He's the King of Righteousness, He's the King of the ages, He's the King of Heaven, He's the King of Glory, He's the King of Kings and He's the Lord of Lords!

He's my King, I wonder - do you know Him?

David said the Heaven's declare the glory of God and the firmament shows His handiwork. My King is a sovereign King. No means of measure can define His limitless love, no far seeing telescope can bring into visibility the coastline of His shore-less supply, no barrier can hinder Him from pouring out His blessings

He's enduringly strong, He's entirely sincere, He's eternally steadfast, He's immortally graceful, He's imperially powerful, He's impartially merciful.

Do you know Him?

He's the greatest phenomenon that has ever crossed the horizon of this world! He's God's son, He's the sinners Savior, He's the centerpiece of civilization, He stands in the solitude of Himself, He's august and He's unique! He's unparalleled, He's unprecedented, He's the loftiest idea in literature, He's the highest personality in philosophy, He's the supreme problem in higher criticism, He's the fundamental doctrine of true theology, He's the miracle of the age, He is - yes He is, He is the superlative of everything good that you choose to call Him, He's the only one who qualified to be an all sufficient Savior;

Do you know Him?

He supplies strength for the weak, He's available for the tempted and the tried, He sympathizes and He saves, He strengthens and sustains, He guards and He guides, He heals the sick, He cleansed the lepers, He forgives sinners, He discharges debtors, He delivers the captives, He defends the feeble, He blesses the young, He serves the unfortunate, He regards the aged, He rewards the diligent and He beautifies the meek.

Do you know Him?

My King is the key to knowledge: The wellspring of wisdom; the doorway of deliverance; the pathway of peace; the roadway of righteousness; the highway of holiness, and the gateway of glory!

His office is manifold: His promise is sure. His light is matchless. His goodness is limitless. His mercy is everlasting. His reign is Righteous. His yoke is easy, and His burden is light.

I wish I could describe Him for you, but He's indescribable! He's Incomprehensible! He's invincible! He's Irresistible!

You can't get Him out of your mind or off your hands! You can't out-live Him and you can't live without Him! The Pharisees couldn't stand Him, but they found out they couldn't stop Him. Pilate couldn't find any fault in Him. The witnesses couldn't agree. Herod couldn't kill Him. Death couldn't handle Him, and the grave couldn't hold Him!

That's my King, That's my King, That's my King, and He's the kingdom and the power and the glory - Forever! AMEN!!!

Do you know Him?