I've received several questions since my last post, so I should answer them.  Thank you, my three adoring readers, for all your questions.

Wrote Kayla McCoolerist:

1. How much wood would a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could Chuck Norris?
Answer: Well, Kayla.  This is a tricky question at best.  Since Chuck Norris is a demi-god among demi-gods, we have to first figure out how far above a normal person Chuck Norris is.  In my own opinion, based merely on speculation and absolutely no scientific or mathematical evidence, I will say that Chuck Norris completes the cycle of input-process-output about 57,932 times faster than the average person; therefore, the Chuck Norris-Chuck also completes the cycle of IPO at 57,932x. So if we use that figure in proportion to the amount of the average woodchuck vs. the woodchuck in Chuck Norris mode, we discover:

Amount the Average Woodchuck Chucks  =  700 lbs                   IPO Rate of Average Woodchuck = 1
Amount the Chuck Norris-Chuck Chucks  =  X                            IPO of Chuck Norris = 57932

So that

1 / 700 is proportionate to 57932 / X

thus

X = 40,552,400 lbs. - The amount a woodchuck would chuck if a woodchuck could Chuck Norris.

2. How do you measure a year?
Answer: Well, you didn't give me a unit of measurement, so I'll just choose a few.  You also didn't give me a location, so I'll just pick a demographic here and there....

In daylights = approximately 4500 hours of daylight per earth year on Mercury
In sunsets = 1, on March 21 at the South Pole
In midnights = 365 per year in Mexico
In cups of coffee = 511,000,000,000 consumed worldwide
In inches = 94,608,000 for a sloth running at a top speed of 15 feet per minute, non-stop
In miles = 613,200 for a cheetah running at a top speed of 70 mph, non-stop
In laughter = 6,205 in adults (17 times per day, according to :: Martin, R. A., & Kuiper, N. A. (1999). Daily occurrence of laughter: Relationships with age, gender, and Type A personality. Humor: International Journal of Humor Research, 12(4), 355-384.)
In strife = 7,328 reported landmine casualties in 2005
In diapers = 16,000,000,000 discarded by the US
In report cards = 20,396 issued in Nixa, Missouri schools, 2006-2007 year
In spoked wheels = 24,000 innocent in recall of 12,000 Huffy Cranbrook bicycles in 2004 (Faulty Handlebars)
In speeding tickets = 482,857 issued in Victoria, Australia in 1993
In contracts = 5,000 approximate number of employees hired by Walmart in Canada, 2006
In dollars = 1,240 Gross National Income Per Capita in Azerbaijan, measured in US Dollars
In funerals = 22.12 deaths / 1,000 live births :: projected 2007 Infant Mortality Rate in China
In births =  8.1 births / 1,000 population :: projected 2007 Birth Rate in Japan


3. What sound does a giraffe make?
Answer:  probably the same sound as I made after doing all of those statistics:  ""mmmgglaaauuuurrrbbbbhh"


1. Do you prefer 2% or whole?
Answer:  Whole, but I could be drinking 2% if I wanted.

2. What is your absolute favorite movie of all time? And if you can't pick just one, top three-ish?
Answer:  Matrix. Favorite movie...ever.


3. What do you miss most about home?
Answer:  Well, I'm home now.  But I did miss my purple carpet, yes I did...

Wrote Evelyn Walk-or-Run:

1.  Who are you and where do you come from and why?
Answer:  I am the Lishy.  I come from the land of Lishyville.  Because I can.


2.  What is the dominant colour in your fairyland?
Answer:  Purple.  Purple clouds, purple lions, purple chocolate, purple trees. Purple.

3.  Why gum?